ncrebel21's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rant I haven't done this in forever... Last time I posted, I was still renting a house from my Dad. Since then, I've got a big promo at work, moved from night shift to days, bought my own house and had a mild heart attack. Stress. Stress is slowly killing me. I'm 27 years old and I've had a mild heart attack. Most people have a heart attack and say it's a wake up call. They change their way of handling stress or they eliminate things that stress them out. Change their diet, whatever. Not me. My job is stressful. I work as a dispatcher. I handle issues and problems and needs of a fleet of almost 100 drivers. Every day at work is a mental thrashing. We literally walk away feeling like we've taken a mental beating. And this is 6 days a week, from 7 am to 6 or 7 pm. Nonstop phone ringing and problems out the wazoo. There is no rest. I get home from work and it's time to cook dinner, read the mail, do laundry, clean house, etc. By the time that's done it's time to go to bed and gear up for another day at work. My one day off is crammed with trying to get a head start on the next week and before I know it it's Monday again. People tell me to get a hobby. I had hobbies. There are things I sincerely enjoy doing and I miss having the time to enjoy them. I loved to read....I can't remember the last time I read a magazine article let alone a book. My TV, CDs, DVDs, PS2, guitar and other things that used to bring me joy are sitting neglected--collecting dust. I've got a live-in boyfriend that lost his job and can't/won't understand what I'm going through as the only income provider in our household. I'm supposed to take care of EVERYTHING, and still have time to placate him and tend to his needs. How the hell am I supposed to do that and keep my sanity? And all these people telling me to slow it down, take it easy, get rid of some of these burdens....where the hell are they? Everyone's got the answer but no one is willing to pitch in and help. 11:26 - 05 November 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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