A New Day - 20 September 2003 . 06:58
I drove to Lumberton last night. No reason, just got in the car and drove around in the fog. Seems I've been spending quite a bit of time in fog of late, both literal and figurative.
I'm beginning to realize that I'm wasting my life. How? By not living. For the past few years I've been existing. Just existing. My existence, especially what it has turned into, is a far cry from living. Conversing with a good friend gave me much to think about. He remarked that we'll settle for anything that won't make us completely miserable. I told him I agree but I wonder if he really knows how his comment resonated through me.
I've been settling in all areas of my life. I settle for fulfilling the needs/wants/expectations of other people instead of my own. In doing so, I lost myself, my true self, long ago. I let others control me rather than standing up for myself.
Wondering why I do this and waiting for things to get better isn't good enough anymore. I realize that I have to make decisive moves and start living my own life. I fear that's something far easier said than done. This task looms over me like a mission impossible.
Regardless, it's something I have to do. Something I will do.
I've been running from change for too long. I have to accept that life = change. Some good, some bad but all providing opportunity for growth and strength.
So today I'm finally mailing the college application. It may be community college but I've got to start somewhere...
%%option1%%
%%option2%%
%%option3%%
|
%%commentscount%% comments so far
Recent Grooves:
Random Grooves (caught and typed)
|
|
|
|
|
Random Grooves (caught and typed)
|
|
|
|
|
Random Grooves (caught and typed)
|
|
|
|
|
Random Grooves (caught and typed)
|
|
|
|
|
Random Grooves (caught and typed)
