Random Grooves (caught and typed)

Fever - 23 March 2003 . 15:49

It's official.

I now suffer from full-blown, incurable BABY FEVER.

The first urges began months ago as a tiny, gentle tugging. Whispers planting themselves deep within my mind, waiting for a weak moment to resurface.

About a month ago, I was visiting a friend who was expecting. She showed me the nursery. She showed me the baby clothes. Those cute, tiny little Onesies, the adorable little socks, shoes, blankies...Yeah, I caved. I was "oooh"ing and "awwww"ing in no time.

Today, I went to buy a gift for a baby shower. (My cousin, Beckie, who had her first son, Matthew Aidan, back on February 20th.) I spent 2 hours in the baby department of Wal-Mart this morning just looking at all the clothes and baby things. God, I had it BAD.

Then, at the shower, I was bombarded by "it's your turn now!" from my aunt and grandmother. And watching Beckie open all the gifts...watching her feed Matthew caused those little "whispers" of wanting a baby turned into deafening screams.

And then it happened.

I made the biggest mistake I could possibly have made.

I held Matthew.

I sat there and cradled him in my arms.

He gripped my index finger in his precious little hand.

I looked into his beautiful blue eyes.

I held him against my chest and he laid his head on my shoulder.

The new-baby smell. The delicate sound of his breathing. The soft warmth radiating from his adorable little body. The way he kicked his little feet...

I didn't want to give him back. I felt the unmistakable yearning flaring from deep inside.

I've got the fever. I've got it BAD.

And perhaps it is my turn.

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Random Grooves (caught and typed)

Love - 21 December 2004 . 04:41

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